The Parent’s Toes Should Follow Their Nose
June 15, 2026
Principles taken from Child Parent Relationship Therapy by Sue Bratton and Garry Landreth
It’s not a secret – we’re distracted. Sometimes conversations with our child are while we are driving, looking at a device, or completing a task. To form a meaningful connection, our child needs us to give them our undivided attention. We need to face them, so our nose is directed towards them. Our body needs to turn towards them, so our “toes follow [our] nose!”
Let’s get real though. Errands must happen. Household chores are not optional. We have demanding jobs and busy lives. Frankly, we’re exhausted!
Here is a ninja trick for busy parents: The 30-Second Burst of Attention. This technique is described by Sue Bratton and Garry Landreth and quickly validates a child’s emotions and build secure attachment.
- Stop and turn towards your child. Put down the phone, close the computer, dry your hands if washing dishes. Stop.
- Get on their level. Crouch if they’re younger or sit so you are eye level. Make direct eye contact.
- Be fully present. For 30 seconds, match their emotion and intensity. Delight in what they are sharing.
- Set a gentle limit. Calmly state you need to return to what you are doing and remind them that you heard what they shared.
The goal is to continually help your child feel seen, heard, understood, and valued. Connections are built by thousands of brief interactions as well as longer ones.
Nuance these steps using your language and tailor to fit your child and their age. If your child shares a complex situation that requires a longer conversation – agree on a later time to discuss when you can give your full attention. Once that time is set, don’t miss it. Your child wants and needs to connect with you – and that’s a good thing! Try the 30-second burst of attention today.
