When a Child is Drowning Don’t Teach Him to Swim
July 6, 2026
Principles taken from Child Parent Relationship Training by Sue Bratton and Garry Landreth
What a frightening image! A child drowning. Parents eagerly seek swimming lessons to teach this life-saving skill. Parents can also seek input to avoid “emotional drowning.” A child is emotionally drowning when they are highly dysregulated. They may have a nuclear reaction to a situation and yell, wail, or throw things.
Similarities of an Emotional Meltdown and Drowning
1. Can happen fast.
2. Causes panic. Symptoms include increased heartrate, adrenalin surge, pre-frontal cortex is “offline.”
3. Child needs help. Adults can help by remaining calm, providing safety, and reassuring.
4. Child benefits from previously taught skills.
Swimming lessons teach the skill of swimming in a predictable, methodical manner allowing for practice, correction, and repetition. Child-Parent Relationship Training (CPRT) helps parents build regulation skills before a meltdown, rather than trying to teach during crisis.
CPRT deepens a parent’s connection with their child while providing healthy structure to help the child become the best version of themselves. The four skills prioritized in CPRT include reflective responding, choice-giving, limit-setting, and encouragement which are then reenforced using one-to-one time with the parent and child. The process takes time and effort with amazing results!
At my practice, I combine individual sessions with a child with parent consultations after every four to five sessions. During the parent consultation, I explain the CPRT parenting skills and help parents apply the skills in specific situations with their child. Parents see results more quickly and the child uses the skills across settings.
Remember your child’s most recent full-on meltdown. It may have included physical or verbal aggression. It could have been sobbing and yell-crying. Think through your response to the upset. Did you preserve your relationship with your child? Did you feel calm and confident? Would you have benefitted from a planned response?
CPRT gives parents the tools to respond with calm, confidence, and connection before the next emotional storm begins.
